Calvin Harris invented disco. No, Calvin Harris reinvented disco. He was Marks & Spencers' champion shelf-stacker two years running. He made his debut album fuelled by chicken breast fillets. He knows the whereabouts of Alex Kapranos' secret studio-hideaway-laboratory-home cuz it's quite near his own place in Dumfries.

Calvin Harris's debut album, with the subtle title I Created Disco, cost 0p to record. He fashions future-disko using an ancient Amiga computer and is, right now, (literally) knocking together a stonking live set using MDF and 204 samples. "My live band's gonna be even more rocking than the tunes. I'll be singing, but only because no one else in Dumfries can sing. I've got an extremely limited range. But I will be wearing a top hat made from the skin of a tiger."

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